


Cold Hands

by Pikachu203



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Attempted mutilation, Eventual Fluff, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Masayoshi Shido is a terrible father, NO ROYAL SPOILERS, One-Shot, Rated T for violence and cursing, Referenced Child Abuse, Sojiro Sakura is a good dad, attempted assasination
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-24
Updated: 2020-01-24
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,805
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22392448
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Pikachu203/pseuds/Pikachu203
Summary: On a chilly September night, Goro Akechi finally refused an order from his father. Unfortunately, Shido wasn't the type to leave loose ends hanging. Goro found himself trying to reach the only place he felt comfortable. If he could just make it to Leblanc, he could be safe. Unfortunately, the night was dark and full of dangers.
Relationships: Akechi Goro/Kurusu Akira, Akechi Goro/Persona 5 Protagonist
Comments: 8
Kudos: 282





	Cold Hands

Shido’s office was chilly as always. Goro was as prepared as he could be, his usual pleasant smile plastered on his face as he awaited orders. Shido’s voice rang clearly as he described the details of his plan. Taking out Okumura was simple enough. That man was just another horrid adult who had outlived his usefulness after all. Hardly anyone he’d been sent after deserved to live anyway. It would seem it took quite a bit to distort men’s hearts. Okumura sounded easier than most targets. Goro would simply have to follow the phantom thieves without being spotted. Really, they’d be doing the hard work. 

Yes, had his orders simply been to murder a CEO, Goro wouldn’t have given it a second thought. However, the next order made his blood run cold. “Following that, I want you to kill the leader of the phantom thieves. We can’t have those brats getting in my way any longer. Do you understand?”

Goro was silent, processing the order. Despite anything he’d openly admitted, he had his suspicions about who the phantom thieves were. He was, at the very least certain of who their leader was. After all, Akira’s group of friends always seemed to grow with each heist. The original thieves were three Shujin Academy students who had been wronged by the same man: Suguru Kamoshida. The next member, Yusuke Kitagawa was the pupil of Ichiryusai Madarame. His art had likely been plagiarized. Makoto Nijima’s connection to Junya Kaneshiro was less concrete. Her deep and unrelenting sense of justice likely made her desire to take on the mafia, and she likely wouldn’t bother spending time with students labeled delinquents otherwise. 

None of the other thieves mattered a bit compared to their leader, at least not to Goro. Akira was special. He was a fascinating boy really. Akira was dedicated to helping others, be they friends or strangers, despite the hand the world had dealt him. He always listened to everyone’s problems, yet never spoke a word of his own. He was certain Akira could steal away the heart of anyone he wanted with his sweet voice and eyes like the sea after a storm. Akira had become a warm, comforting presence in Goro’s life, and he was filled with a selfish, and perhaps foolish, desire to save him. 

Shido’s voice dragged Goro back to reality. He sounded annoyed. “Stop your useless daydreaming. Do you understand me, Akechi?”

Goro should have controlled his emotions. He should have agreed to the order, and continued with his plan. He shouldn’t have let his desires in the way. Yet, he stared blankly at Shido’s face and said. “I refuse.”

“You refuse?” Shido was incredulous; he didn’t quite seem to process that statement.

“I won’t kill the leader of the phantom thieves.” 

Goro would immediately regret his openness when a punch collided with his cheek. Shido had hit him before when he was angry, but never in the face, never where a bruise might show at work or during an interview. His heart pounded uncontrollably in his chest, and he found his legs too shaky to move. _Why couldn’t he move?_ Suddenly, cold hands clasped tightly around his neck, and he struggled to find air to support his fluttering heart. 

With the air choked from his lungs, Goro felt his pleasant mask shatter. It was replaced with an overwhelming, violent urge to escape as quickly as possible. He struggled: scratching, biting, and kicking at anything he could reach. At the very least, getting his DNA everywhere would be an annoyance, even if he couldn’t escape. He finally felt a kick connect and the pressure vanished from his neck.

His vision was clouded and spinning as he tried to gulp down as much air as he could. All he could see were vague shapes: a large figure screaming far off words that made no sense, and a huge pane of glass overlooking the city below. He wasn’t thinking clearly, and rushed to the window. He was running sloppily, his body felt like it was sinking beneath a dark sea.

Goro could at least die with some agency. He leapt through the glass, feeling several shards catch on his skin. He landed painfully on a fire escape several floors down. He wasn’t expecting to survive the fall, and sat dazed for a moment. His neck ached horribly, and it still felt difficult to breathe. However, his vision was slowly coming back into focus. The blaring of an alarm and a familiar angry screaming several floors above dragged him back to reality.

He had to run. If he didn’t, he was going to die. He had to hide somewhere, anywhere Shido wouldn’t search for him. 

He rushed away from the building and through the nearby park, his bike be damned. He could always get a new bike, and even this late at night the crowds of the subway station would be safer than biking alone. Crowds were far less forgiving of people being murdered in front of them, and easy to disappear into. Where he could ride to, he wasn’t sure, but the subway was better than the streets.

As he rushed through the park, he spotted a small pond out of the corner of his eye and realized something. He needed to get rid of his phone. While hiding in the metaverse could buy him some time, he couldn’t stay there indefinitely. His phone could be tracked, and Shido’s conspiracy could use it to find Akira. As he was about to fling the device into the lake, it let out a soft buzz. It was a message from Akira: “Do you want to hang out tonight? :)”

A sudden realization struck Goro. He could try to get to Leblanc. He wasn’t sure what to tell Boss, but hopefully his injuries would be convincing enough to be granted some refuge there. Without thinking, he responded to Akira’s message: “Help me, please.” Then he flung his phone deep into the lake with a satisfying _plunk._

He picked up the pace again, as much as he could, swiping his pass and rushing onto the nearest subway and slipping into the crowd. For a few minutes, at least, he could catch his breath as he rode the subway to his destination.

He ran out of the train station to the backstreets of Yongen-Jaya. It was still so hard to breathe, everything ached, but he had to keep moving, even if it felt like slogging through jelly. He heard the vague sounds of shouting somewhere behind him, realizing he was being followed. If he could just make it to Leblanc, he could hide. Akira was kind, far too kind for his own good. He wouldn’t mind letting Goro hide there for a bit.

At least, that was the plan. The sign in front of Leblanc was flipped to Closed. Of course it was. That was just his horrible luck. His mind was racing again. The alley was dark, there weren’t any bystanders around. There was nowhere to hide. The bathhouse? The laundromat? The bar down the road? There had to be somewhere he could go.

He clearly was contemplating his next move for too long as he felt a frigid hand grasp the back of his neck. He was lifted like an unruly kitten by the scruff of his neck, and found himself face to face with a strange man with a twisted grin. Goro didn’t recognize his face. A punch slammed into the side of his head, and it was suddenly hard to focus his eyes on anything.

Fear rushed through Goro’s veins like ice. His chest felt so tight he was convinced he’d die of a heart attack before he could be murdered. Goro found himself again desperately struggling again against someone physically stronger. 

Suddenly he was on the ground. He hardly registered being dropped, but tried to scramble away. A kick roughly connected with his side, and it was hard to breathe. His veins were ice, his lungs fire. The world spiraled as he struggled to stay conscious, but he couldn’t will his useless body to move.

That was it then. He’d die here, stuck in the chilly late September air. He was so close, yet so far from comfort. Another harsh kick hit his side, and he felt his body being loosely lifted up. Goro felt as if he was floating somewhere above himself, a bystander to the horror being inflicted on someone else’s body. His struggling was weaker than before, he could barely lift his head. A knife glinted in the moonlight in front of his eyes. His assailant let out a chuckle. “The thought of marring that pretty face of yours is so exciting. Where to begin?” The sharp tip was traced along his jawline. “Maybe I’ll start by making sure you can never blab who did this to you.”

 _No no no no no, please no._ Goro clamped his jaw shut in a futile attempt to protect himself. Why couldn’t they just kill him quickly?

This horrifying, painful world was shattered by the far off soft jingling of bells. Goro’s body was dropped suddenly, and he fell like a rag doll to the pavement. He tried to lift his head to see what was happening, and saw the vague outline of someone screaming and chasing off his assailant. He only managed to hear something about calling the police as he struggled to push himself up onto his knees. He found himself squatting, pressing his hands over his face to feel that everything was still there. Thankfully, his features all felt intact, aside from a nasty bruise forming on his cheek. 

Suddenly someone was standing over him again. Goro kept his eyes trained down at the ground. “Are you alright, kid?”

He managed to look up at Sojiro, seeing the man wince at the reveal of Goro’s injured face. Goro shook his head in response. Sojiro put something down next to him and squatted down to his level. Goro realized he’d been brandishing a large broom. Sojiro’s voice raised, perhaps unintentionally. “What were you thinking, wandering around this late? You could have been killed!”

Goro’s arms flew back up to protect his face. He wasn’t thinking; he couldn’t think. He just didn’t want any more pain. He couldn’t stop the words slipping out of his mouth, as much as he wanted to keep his feelings locked inside and to keep his mouth shut. “Please don’t hit me. I can’t take it right now…”

Sojiro responded quickly. “Why would I ever hit you? You just scared the crap out of me, kid.”

Goro didn’t answer that question, but realized Boss probably wasn’t the sort of person to hit someone out of anger. He lowered his arms from their protective position. Sojiro’s face was gruff, but his eyes were soft with concern. “Does…” He paused, seeming to contemplate his words. “Does someone usually hit you when they’re angry?”

Goro nodded. It wasn’t like he wanted or needed to cover for his father anymore. Sojiro’s face darkened. “I’m calling the police.”

Fear bubbled up in Goro’s chest again. “Please don’t… If he finds me, he’ll kill me.”

Sojiro seemed to process that, and came to some sort of realization. “That won’t happen. I won’t let that happen again. Can you stand?”

Goro’s relief was overwhelming. He was going to live, his body intact, and Boss was offering him some refuge. He managed, with some effort, to push himself up and take a step towards Sojiro. “I… thank you, Boss.”

Sojiro sighed. “Just be careful, kid.”

Goro knew everything he’d done today was selfish: refusing an order from Shido, imposing on Akira, and having Sojiro hide him. He didn’t deserve this kindness.

Sojiro opened the door and flicked on the lights. Leblanc was so much brighter, so much warmer than the streets of Tokyo. As Goro crossed the threshold, he felt unbelievably comfortable. Even if he had nothing, even on the worst day of his life, this place was here. The company was good, and it smelled like home. Goro felt a small smile spread across his face as he walked in. Sojiro walked behind the counter to his usual position to start brewing up a mug of the house blend. “Feeling a little better?”

Goro sat down in one of the booths, which was surprisingly comfortable. He found himself answering honestly. “Physically no. My neck hurts like hell.”

Sojiro accepted that. “If you want to talk about any of it, I’m right here.” 

“Right I… I just…”

Sojiro would probably despise him if he told the truth. Goro was surprised enough that Sojiro was willing to protect and house a useless brat. If he said the wrong thing he might be flung out onto the street alone again. He decided on the safer answer. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

Sojiro’s eyes still held that empathetic softness that seemed to warm the little cafe. “I understand. Listen, there’s a clinic a block from here. You can go early tomorrow morning. I’ll come with you if it makes you feel any better. The doctor there can help you better than I can.” 

Goro nodded before speaking up. “Do you have any ice?”

“Ice…? Oh, that’ll reduce the swelling, won’t it? I’ll bring some with your coffee in just a second.”

Sojiro shuffled behind the counter, sending some sort of text message on his phone before pouring out a tall mug of coffee.

Soon, a mug, a warm plate of curry, and a towel wrapped around a few ice cubes were placed in front of Goro. Sojiro sat across from him, and asked a bit of an odd question. “You’re not allergic to cats are you?”

“No. They’re quite cute, but I’m more of a dog person.” He paused to take another bite of the curry. “Out of curiosity, why do you ask?”

“We have a cat, he usually stays upstairs with Akira. He’s a cute little guy, mostly black with little white paws and a white muzzle. He doesn’t like to be pet, but he’ll sleep in the same bed as you and is usually well behaved. I’m glad you’re not allergic. Akira loves that cat, and I don’t want to move it to the house and leave him lonely.” Sojiro explained.

“Oh. That’s very considerate of you. So, I’ll be staying in the attic with Akira and the cat then?” Goro asked.

“There are no rooms left in my house, and it’s pretty spacious up there. I can bring over a futon for you. You are friends with Akira, right?”

“We are… Akira is-“ Goro’s voice trailed off as his veins felt as if they were filled with ice again.

“He’s not here, is he? Where is he?” Goro’s heart was beating far too fast in his chest again. “Is he safe? He can’t be-“ 

Sojiro cut him off this time. “He left here a little while ago to check on a friend. I’m sure he’s fine. I’ll call him if it makes you feel better.”

Goro nodded, again finding his words out of his control. “I just want to hear his voice right now.”

Why did that have to sound so embarrassing?

Sojiro sighed, poking in a few numbers on his phone, and setting it on speaker. The phone rang a few times before Akira picked up on the other end. His voice was frantic. “I know I’m out late, I just… I can’t find him! I’ve looked everywhere I can think of and he won’t answer his phone. What if… what if he’s dead? What do I do?” 

Akira let out a sob that again shattered Goro’s mask. Goro found himself holding back tears. He’d really been a burden on everyone tonight, hadn’t he? How could he not have realized that he’d cause Akira so much grief?

Sojiro’s voice was stern but calm. “What friend are you looking for?”

“Akechi texted me asking for help earlier, but I can’t find him anywhere, and he won’t respond to any of my messages, and I-“

“I’m here.” Goro let the words slip out.

Akira let out a shuddering sigh. “You made it to Leblanc. Oh thank God.”

Sojiro chuckled. “He barely made it. Listen, just come home, kid. It’s not safe to be out so late.”

“I’ll hurry! Please make sure Akechi stays. I want to be sure he’s okay.” Akira was kind as always.

Sojiro responded calmly. “Don’t worry, he’ll be staying for a while.”

Akira hung up, probably wanting to hurry home. Sojiro spoke again. “Now then, you keep eating, alright? There’s no reason to be afraid.”

Goro nodded, rubbing at his eyes. Crying wasn’t something he should be bothering other people with. He’d caused Sojiro so much trouble already. He could cry later, quietly, alone if he must. “I’ll eat, thank you.” He couldn’t keep the shakiness out of his voice.

“Kid…” Boss’s voice was stern again, and Goro felt his body tense up. “You should cry if you want to. You’ve had it rough.”

So he’d noticed. Goro couldn’t quite believe that, but the tears poured out anyway, hot, loud, and horribly messy. “I’m so useless.” 

“Don’t call yourself that. You don’t have to be some perfect little emotionless doll. Just let it out.” Blunt as always, but his words were shockingly accurate.

The tears kept coming. Goro couldn’t believe someone would want him, not the detective prince or the black mask, around. This side of him wasn’t pretty. It was messy, hideous, disgusting, and overflowing uncontrollably. Yet, instead of hurting him or screaming at him, Sojiro stood near him, gently rubbing his back. Goro’s words tumbled out of his mouth. “I hate him. I hate everything!” He sobbed.

They stayed like that for a long time. Goro wasn’t sure how much time passed, but eventually the front door jingled again and someone rushed over to him. Akira was next to him, looking quite disheveled. His pretty eyes were swollen from crying, his hair a mess. Goro, through his tears, managed to crack a joke. “You’re back awfully late.”

A voice commented from inside Akira’s bag. “He sounds awful.”

That cat was awfully strange. He’d have to ask about it later, when things calmed down.

Akira’s hands brushed gently over the ugly marks on Goro’s neck. They were soft and warm. Goro wished Akira would leave his hands there forever. Akira’s voice was calm, but his eyes burned with white hot anger. “Who did this to you?”

“My father.” 

Akira didn’t even hesitate asking. “What’s his name?”

Well, that confirmed Goro’s suspicion that Akira really was a phantom thief. He had made the right choice then. Akira wouldn’t die. He whispered. “His name is Masayoshi Shido.”

Akira hugged Goro without warning, and assured him. “Don’t worry. I won’t let him hurt you again.”

Akira’s hugs were everything Goro imagined they’d be. Despite the awkward positioning Akira was shockingly comfortable. Goro melted into the hug, sniffling into Akira’s shoulder. Everything about Akira was warm, so wonderfully warm. Goro didn’t realize how much he’d been longing for this, not just Akira, but the comfort of having someone hold him and care for him. He couldn’t remember the last time he’d hugged someone. He could barely remember the last time he’d had a relationship like this, where nothing was expected of him but his company.

Sojiro left the two boys and returned to the counter. “You haven’t eaten either, have you, Akira?”

Akira looked up without releasing the hug. “I uh… I didn’t grab anything. I was too frantic.”

Sojiro set about heating up curry for him as well. “Then sit down, ice the kid’s bruises and let me heat something up for you.”

Goro shifted further into the booth so Akira could sit next to him. He didn’t want Akira to let go, but had the sneaking suspicion he could receive more hugs if he just asked. Of course, that would require him to shove what little remained of his pride to the side. The cool feeling of ice pressed against the bruises on his neck was relief enough, at least. 

Sojiro placed down dinner for Akira and sighed. “I need to go let Futaba know what’s going on. Tomorrow I’ll bring over a futon and some blankets. You two, get some rest.”

Akira let Morgana out of his bag. The cat looked up at the two boys before saying. “I think I’ll go out for a bit. Let me know if you get any more intel on our next target, Akira. We’ll need more than his name to get to his palace after all. Considering… well… He probably has one if he’d do this.”

The bells at the entrance jingled again as Sojiro left, with Morgana following shortly after. Goro sat in silence for a while, sipping lukewarm coffee as Akira held the slowly melting ice up to his neck. Finally Akira asked the difficult question. “What happened, Akechi? Why did your father do this to you?”

There was a long period of silence as Goro contemplated his options. It was entirely possible that responding honestly would make Akira despise him. Then he’d be thrown out onto the street again, and would surely die. Lying, though, would make the inevitable fallout worse. He would explain as well as possible. “I often have to do my father’s... well… his dirty work for him. He gives me names and I eliminate them. I had no idea that they would die at first. I just killed the shadows in the other world.” Akira’s eyes sparked with recognition at the word shadow, but he made no comment.

“By the time I realized, he’d have enough evidence on me to put me in prison forever. As you can see he can be rather violent when he doesn’t get his way. He usually kept it to places no one could see the bruises of course. I couldn’t leave, Akira. I just had to try to orchestrate his downfall while working under him. I thought I was strong enough to just keep following orders until I had enough evidence to destroy his career, or I was strong enough to take down his shadow alone.” Akira’s eyes were soft, gentle, nonjudgmental.

Goro continued. “Tonight, he ordered me to kill the leader of the phantom thieves and I refused.” Suddenly Goro felt anger bubble up in his throat at the thought of his own position in all of this. “I guess that was enough for the fucker to realize how useless I am. So he tried to kill me quietly, but I messed that up too. Your message reminded me of this place, that I could try to hide here. You’re nice, Akira, far too kind for your own good. I figured if I made it here you’d help me.”

Akira chuckled softly. “You really think highly of me, huh?”

“That’s what you focus on? God, you’re ridiculous.” Goro sighed, before continuing his explanation. “I tried to reach here but-“ a pause, as awful thoughts of what could have happened to him in that alleyway resurfaced. “Well, let’s just say if it weren’t for Sojiro, I don’t think I could ever tell you, or anyone for that matter, what happened tonight.”

Akira visibly cringed at the implication of Goro’s words, and shifted the conversation back to Goro’s orders. “Why did you refuse to kill the leader of the phantom thieves?”

Goro sighed, admitting what he’d already suspected for quite some time. “You’re the leader of the phantom thieves, aren’t you?”

Akira almost looked embarrassed. “Was I that obvious, detective?” 

Goro snorted, nervously giggling. His real laugh was so ugly, but Akira didn’t seem to mind. “Well, you weren’t exactly subtle.”

Akira shot back. “Neither were you, pancake boy!”

Goro, confused, asked. “Pancake boy? What does that even mean?”

“I’ll explain better when things have calmed down a bit. I knew you were the black mask. You don’t have to do that anymore. I promise, the phantom thieves will help you. We’re in the middle of a mission right now, but I’ll finish it quickly.” Akira seemed like his was plotting out future plans in his head. “That way, you can live peacefully as soon as possible.”

Goro felt the edge of a smile form on his face, and for once he didn’t stop it. “You don’t have to rush on my account. The metaverse is dangerous, and it’s best to be properly prepared.”

The two were silent for a while, before Goro admitted. “I’m surprised to be honest, that you still want to see me after what I just told you. I’m a hideous person…”

Akira frowned at him. “Hey… It’s okay. You didn’t want to do any of this, did you?”

“No, fuck no… I just want…” Shit, this was not easy to talk about. “I want someone to need me.”

“I need you.” Akira said quickly. 

That made a feeling of… something blossom in Goro’s chest. He couldn’t name the emotion, it felt like an odd mix of longing, anger, and melancholy. “Why? I’ve been showing you a false version of me. You hardly know me! I don’t think anyone does…” 

“Well… We’re friends, right, Goro? It doesn’t really matter to me if you had to put up a mask around other people. You don’t have to anymore.” 

Akira was so soft it was almost infuriating. Almost… With that little reassuring smile on his face, he was actually adorable. His eyes were so genuine. Goro didn’t deserve him; he deserved to be dead in that stupid alleyway. Yet, he leaned in closer. He couldn’t help himself. “Akira, can I be honest with you about something?”

Was it just Goro’s imagination, or did Akira’s cheeks flush a bit when he leaned in? Akira’s voice softened. “Tell me anything. I don’t mind listening.”

Goro whispered. “I don’t just want to be your friend.”

He kissed Akira before he could respond. It was a selfish thing to do, and he was scared Akira might push him away. Instead, Akira’s arms gently wrapped around him. The kiss was deep, warm, and extremely comforting. Goro barely realized he hadn’t been breathing until he pulled back, feeling lightheaded again. This time, though, it didn’t feel so terrible, especially with Akira’s bubbly little giggle. “You haven’t done this much, have you?”

Goro, flustered, mumbled. “I’ve been… busy…” 

Akira’s smile was wide. “Goro, you’ve put me on quite an emotional rollercoaster tonight you know that?”

Hearing Akira call him Goro was absolutely enough to earn him another kiss. This one was a bit less messy than the last one. At least he remembered to breathe. He whispered. “I’m sorry.”

Akira was somehow still smiling. “No need to apologize. Honestly, this was a nice surprise. We should clean up. You can sleep on my bed when we’re done, I don’t mind.”

That was… For once Goro wasn’t sure what to say. Akira, though, simply let out another little giggle, piling up the dishes and setting out to clean them. Usually the concept of sharing a bed with Akira would probably have made him angry, but he was too tired to complain. When did he start feeling this tired? His body suddenly felt so heavy. It was almost as if finally feeling safe, and letting his emotions pour over had left him completely physically and emotionally drained. He wasn’t even sure if he could walk up the stairs at this point. 

Akira took the lead in taking his hand and bringing him up the stairs of the little coffee shop. This morning Goro couldn’t have imagined he’d end up here. Akira’s room was a rather cozy attic space, really. His bed wasn’t really a bed, just a small mattress spread over some old crates. Goro didn’t care if it was comfortable or not. His legs carried him over to the bed where he collapsed onto it. 

He felt soft fingers brushing through his hair. “Goro… Don’t you want to get changed?”

Goro let out an annoyed groan and flipped over to face the wall. Akira’s sweet little laugh rang out again. “Alright, alright… Just gimme a second.”

_Give you a second to do what?_

Well, Akira answered his question shortly after. Goro felt his new boyfriend climb into the bed behind him. Akira’s warm arms wrapped around him, and Goro marveled at how comfortable this felt. Akira fit so well against him. Akira whispered. “Goro? Are you awake?”

Goro was quiet. He was barely awake anyway. Akira continued whispering. “I love you…”

Goro didn’t have the energy to respond or tease him about his sudden confession. His eyes finally slid shut. He fell asleep safe in the arms of someone who claimed to love him. Maybe he really would be okay.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! I'm not super happy with how this came out, but decided to post it anyway.


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